you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
