return my video game
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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