just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
