Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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