Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
