You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This is classic penis vs brain.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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