it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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