...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
