So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
