As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
fuck your aforementioned shoe
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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