is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
