i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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