i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
