Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
