"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize