Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We had to coat check the pizza.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize