Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize