How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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