Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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