real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
