bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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