Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
