so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
