I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
