Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
