My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
