so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
A+ Viking dick
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
