i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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