they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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