We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
