I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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