I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
