if i can run in heels then i can drive
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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