you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
