I faked an abortion last night.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
