Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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