My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
