I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
