i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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