where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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