You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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