my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
