I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
