The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It's just like the Real World with babies
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
