im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Farmville is her only friend.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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