At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
