we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We left the knife in your bed.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
