Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
