Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize