Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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