Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
