Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
