no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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