i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
operation have a gay friend backfired
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
