You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Text me some of your sweat
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize