hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
