I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
