I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
