There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
